This guy has crazyyy skills!!

ROFLMFAO

Upcoming Destination

I have finally decided upon my next travel destination. Argentina. Challenged in its beauty by very few places on earth.




















Needless to say, I'm extremely excited. September never seemed so far away...


On the beat box: Coldplay - Clocks (Live)

Pansy

As the title suggests, I feel like a bit of a pansy. I'll tell you why. Because I took the link to this blog off my Facebook profile. I know, big deal, blah blah blah. Seriously though, something happened that made me uncomfortable. The result of which, actually, has me more than a little disappointed in myself.

So here's the story. Not much of a story, really, but I'll call it thus anyway. My mom joined the Facebook world. And, of course, I would have felt like a complete dick of a son if I hadn't friended her. But Facebook is one thing. My blog is quite something different.

Facebook contains a profile. The briefest of synopses pertaining to who someone is. There are also pictures, which probably do more to tell you about the person than the profile itself does. Its funny, but sometimes you get to thinking that you know a person really well, and never realize that the knowledge you think you possess might be largely based on their Facebook account. I was a little hesitant to add my mom as a friend. There are numerous pictures posted of myself that I really would rather she not have seen. None of these pictures depict me snorting lines of cocaine or shoving things into my ass (neither of which I do, by the way, at least not regularly), and I'm thankful for that, because Photoshop is a miraculous and potentially devastating program. The pictures on Facebook simply provide my mom with a window through which she can peer into a side of my life she has never had the opportunity to previously see. Not a horrible thing, really. Many have seen the partying, drunk, stupid, and immature side of me. Why not my mom? Its just another venture outside of my comfort zone, and to be honest, our relationship has probably grown a little bit because of it. Like I said, not a bad thing. Not at all.

The blog, on the other hand, I am not ready for her to see. Not that her seeing it and reading it would be a horrible thing. But the blog provides a window into my mind. I fear that if she were to peer through this particular window, she might be a little disappointed by what she saw. It might be the fact that my posts are largely cynical and pessimistic in nature. It might be the crude words I sprinkle over everything as if they were multi-colored, candy-coated sprinkles with centers made from edible gold. To be honest, I don't know what it is, but I get a definitively uncomfortable feeling when I think about my mother reading these posts.

Some of the people that I am closest to in this life already read my blog (you're addicted and you know it). So why not my mom? I don't know. She is certainly one of those people that I am closest to, she just doesn't read my blog. At least, I don't think she does. Who knows, maybe she found this weeks ago and has been contentedly peering into the grey matter which fills my cranial cavity ever since. The internet is a clever thing. Maybe I feel like there's a certain level of appropriateness that should be observed when letting family in on the lesser-known areas of your life.

Whatever the reason(s), I am not ready for her to read this. When will I be ready? I don't know. I'm sure I'll know when I am ready. Honestly, I hope I feel ready soon, because that will probably be a direct result of me becoming more comfortable with who I have turned out to be.


The beat box is unplugged. Its open mic night and no one feels like singing.

I can see through you...

This is, hands down, one of the best live performances in music. Watch Aaron Lewis's expressions... I've never seen a song performed with more feeling. Even Fred Durst can't keep his eyes off him. Absolutely brilliant. Durst did well to hang back and not fuck it up. Fantastic.

1999, Family Values Tour, Biloxi Texas

Just Give Up

Has anyone else noticed the sudden widespread use of the term "stimulus package" as a marketing ploy? Over the past few weeks, I've probably heard ten radio commercials for ten different companies advertising new discounts and sales as "stimulus packages." Honestly, I think this is a new height of American stupidity.

First and foremost, the commercials are annoying. I'm already tired of hearing debates about the stimulus package set forth by Obama all over every television station imaginable by people both over and under qualified to take part in them. Now you're going to make me listen to an idiot who just happens to have a good voice for radio (or not) not only play the same card as has been played by many already, but make a mockery of our President and our economic situation at the same time. As an American (even an American that hates politics and doesn't take part in them) I find this behavior insulting. Marketing execs should be using their expensive college educations to market things in a way which will create a positive spin on spending money to have their products, which might, in turn, help the economic situation instead of insulting the American populace and the President all at the same time.

I'm going to give some advice now that is only relevant to a select few idiots. If you are the Director of Marketing for a company and all your team can come up with is to call your new discount a "stimulus package," here's what you should do: First, fire your entire team and replace it with a gaggle of swearing, knife-toting, nose-picking, anarchy-loving third graders from Harlem. Second, recommend a chimpanzee who communicates using a state-of-the art movement sensing computer and sign language for your own job, and then shoot yourself in the head. There are several benefits to this solution. The first is that having the miscreant third-graders relocated out of our schools would make those schools a much better learning environment for the more well-behaved students. Second, ridding the executive ladder of those people not deserving of the position, the status, or the responsibility will only streamline the rise of new, more capable and deserving candidates (don't worry about the knife-weilding third graders, they'll be weeded out of the executive world fairly quickly and tossed out onto the street, a great place for someone weilding a knife - even a third grader). Third, by shooting yourself in the head, you will be ending your miserable little stay on this Earth and, again, creating a job for someone else obviously more qualified. And lastly, the new, more deserving marketing execs might actually come up with an intelligent solution to their company's falling revenue in the form of a brilliant, catchy, positive marketing blitz - thereby directly contributing to the stimulation of the economy.

If I hear another radio commercial that sounds like this, "Wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube man STIMULUS PACKAGE! Buy ONE wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube man and get TWO wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube men FREE!!!" then I will probably do something very ill-conceived and stupid. I just don't know what it is yet.


On the beat box: Matt Nathanson - Sing me Sweet

Ouch.

So I stopped in at the Mixed Martial Arts dojo last night to find out pricing and programs, etc. The guy talked to me for a bit and then invited me to attend the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu class they were having that night. So I went home and got changed and headed back over. They lent me a gi, and I proceeded to take part in the lesson. And then I proceeded to get my ass kicked in a very efficient manner by just about everyone. There were only about 10 people there, so I guess it could have been worse - I could have gotten my ass thrown by 20 people. 2 hours after the lesson, I felt like I had been hit by a truck. This morning, I feel like the shredded tires left behind by a maniacally speeding tractor trailer. I think I'm going to go back.


On the beat box: Plastik - Rockbitch

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

So, I'm thinking that instead of getting a membership to a crappy YMCA for $53 per month, I might enroll in some Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu classes. This way, not only do I have someone pushing me to work harder, I'll get back into shape quickly, and I'll learn a useful practice. Also, if I decide to go for the Special Forces, a background in Jiu-Jitsu would help incalculably. Going to head over this evening to find out pricing and commitment requirements...


On the beat box: Some horrible elevator muzik at work...

No words...

Wish List

I'm at work and its slow, so it goes without saying that I'm bored out of my mind. Thought I would put together a list of the things I'm semi-planning to spend my money on in the near future... Maybe if I see all the things together in one place I'll finally come to the conclusion that I spend money unnecessarily. Or not. Here we go.

















































And, finally...





Obviously, some of these fall into the more long-term category. Apparently I need to make more money. Or maybe someone just needs to win the lottery and give me a hundred-thousand dollars. That would do it. Well, maybe not for the Earth, but everything else would be taken care of.


On the beat box: Counting Crows - Long December

Move Quote Answers

Here they are, in order... I know you cheated and Googled them all. Loser.


1. Clerks
2. Pulp Fiction
3. The Dark Knight
4. Mallrats
5. Trainspotting


Now, if there are any here you haven't seen, I hate you. Only watching them right now will abate my seething anger...

Do it. Seriously. Do it. Do it.



On the beat box: Jack Johnson - Imagine (John Lennon cover)